Treat Bag Mom -- I Am Talking to You

Today is the last day we honor the 40 Bags in 40 Days concept for 2015, as the morn will bring the Easter Bunny and his baskets full of more crap you'll have to furtively toss in a few days while your kids are eating their bunny's ears off.   And in a nod to the Easter or "spring" parties your preschoolers or elementary kids have had this week, we will throw an angry stare at HER.  The Treat Bag Mom.  

You know her.  You may BE her.  Hell, I used to be her.  She is up at 1:00 am poring over Pinterest, searching for that perfect little seasonal game that will hold the class' attention for more than one nanosecond.  I mean, who wants to do a relay race with an egg on a spoon, when your kindergartner can make a terrarium for their fake chick using naturally-dyed faux grass and earth friendly non-PVC mason jars?  Gah?

She may have a 9 am budget meeting, but by God, if you think she is going to let that stay-at-home wretch who did the Valentine's party out-do her?  You would be sadly mistaken, Other Kinder Parents.  Stand. And. Watch.   She has made healthy snack bags, carefully labeled with bunny die cuts bearing each child's name (which can later be used as a back pack ID tag), as well as a take home treat bag for later in case the little egg hunters combust on the SUV-ride home.

 

Curse you Treat Bag Mom.  I propose we load them all up in their minivans and place them in the town square to be tarred and feathered.  Why do I have such vitriol?  Because it's a friggin pricey mess, that's why.  And who decided each child should leave any festivities holding crap that will lie dormant in their well-appointed Pottery Barn rooms for weeks, months?   It's a western hemisphere custom that should be terminated.  

It's not for the kids. Let's all just agree on that.  When we distill it down to the bare bones, it's Parenting Olympics.  Oneupmanship at its worst state.  "I ordered my stuff from Oriental Trading last month and have the "make your own snow" take home bags for Ava's Frozen party finished and on my tablescape since Tuesday".  Well, good for you.  The rest of us forgot it was picture day and sent our kid to school wearing his Batman pajama top.

Who is going to take the wheel and stop this crazy train?  Just blame it on me.  The Cowtown Minimalist.  At your kid's next party, when the little party-goers file out and look a tad stunned because they are given a fistbump on departure instead of a themed bag holding an iPad, just smile and say "Yay Minimalism!"  They will get used to the idea, I promise.  Someone just has to start the new trend.   It can be you.  

It's just excess.  Pencils and bubbles and little plastic necklaces.  Do you think when the missionaries land in Ghana the children all scamper over and wait for their Disney movie treat bags bearing an eraser and tiny deck of cards?   Uh no.   They are happy with a kickball.  That thirty kids share.  I am not proposing that EXTREME  minimalism, just making the point that WE caused our kids to expect the level of excess they are swimming in.  Which means we have the power to take it down a few notches.

Be that Mom (or Dad).  I am here to support you.  At 1:00 am when you're desperately searching Pinterest.    The Cowtown Minimalist believes in you!