Happy Thanksgiving week, Minimalist friends! We hope you're reading this comfortably resting after a pleasant holiday and NOT rushing the Walmart aisles for the ever evolving holy grail of Black Friday shopping.
Today's blog is brought to you by the thief of joy: comparison. Teddy Roosevelt reminded us of this truth years ago, before Facebook and IG ever made it a daily challenge. I always saw myself as fairly self-actualized and content with doing things my way, yet even I find myself questioning my "enoughs" from time to time.
Is my home decorated attractively enough? Am I successful enough? Is he/she more accomplished/attractive/well-liked than I?
To ensure there are almost no moments when we can bask in our own awesomeness without intrusion of the yardsticks of others, social media is available at ALL times to offer us a peephole into others' perfect lives, then haul out our own yardstick for comparison.
Joy thief, indeed.
The holiday time posts can hit people hard on the head like the summer vacation posts do. Where in summer, we compared our paltry staycation at the local museum to your trip to the Galleria dell'Accedemia in Florence to see the David, now we can compare our aging artificial Christmas tree to your magnificently adorned pine that you and the family went to cut down together. Then there are the posts of the tree on Christmas morning, with presents trickling far past the tree skirt, illustrating lives of plenty. Well, hell, we just stuck with the "one want, one need, one fun" gift trio.
Your joy in preparation of a cost-conscious holiday for your family can dwindle if you compare. Did I get my kids enough? Is my tree trimmed well-enough to elicit enough "likes" and approval from the internet universe as well as the neighbors?
We minimalists invite you over for a glass of tea in our universe. We try not to compare how minimal we are, and we are sure appreciative of your way of doing things. There isn't a rule book in minimalism; it's just come as you are. Of course, we have suggestions on what worked for us and what research shows can improve happiness and outlook. But we won't send you home feeling badly that you haven't dismantled your wall of crosses (ok, that really does need to go) or tossed all your children's artwork.
A few thoughts for you as you prepare your life for the holidays: do what you love with the people you love. Folks will admire your decor or your fabulous trip and reply to your posts "SO jelly!!" in envy, but don't let that be your motivation for doing OR posting. Better yet, skip the public display of your life, and go live it. I always try to analyze what my final thoughts will consist of if I were saying good-bye to my earthly body. It is never "I am so thankful I had 200 likes on my picture of me at the Eiffel Tower!" It's more like, "damn, I will miss enchiladas".
Look at your well worn 12-year-old couch in the living room that has seen many dog and human naps and be content with your life AND your couch (yes, this is autobiographical here). If it shows up in your posts and isn't as magazine worthy as your friend's new Pottery Barn find, skip the comparison. Sit on that couch, and ask your partner/kids about their day.
Holidays can be tough - personal and external expectations make us feel anxious about measuring up. Put that yardstick away. Go live. Stick your face in the sun (using SPF 50, of course), and be who you are. It's always the right thing to be.
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