My Roomie, My Hero

Not about minimalism today, but about something far more important.

I realized when I was telling some people about my friend Kim and her accomplishments that she deserved more than just a mention to strangers.  Her success deserved a public forum, replete with the love that is justified. So here is her story. 

Kim and I met in August of 1986.  We were both freshmen at Texas A&M University and eager to meet our “potluck” roommate.  I remember looking at the assignment sheet for roommates, seeing her name, and thinking “Kimberly Ivy sounds like a pretty normal name...” After I moved my stuff in, I inspected her cassette stash and was joyful to see similar musical tastes. We even had the same middle name!  Best of all, we wore the same size clothes.  Jackpot!

We had some great times in 338 Krueger.  She was an accounting major, and I had about 3 majors before settling on biology.  She met her future husband at TAMU, and after our sophomore year, I wore yellow and carried daisies in her wedding.  Kim and her husband moved to Amarillo where she finished her degree, not letting the birth of her first son deter her school schedule and graduating right on time from West Texas A&M.  Shortly after, Kim moved back to the Dallas area where she had attended high school, and near where I was living at the time.  When her first daughter was born in 1992, I had the privilege of handing her to Kim for the first time out of the nursery after delivery.  That handsome son and beautiful first daughter would be my ring bearer and flower girl in my wedding a few years later.

I had two children, and Kim had just a few more, six more to be exact, yet we were never pregnant at the same time!  During those years, Kim and her family moved out to east Texas to Alba, population: not much til the Reeves clan arrived.  Kim felt called to bring a child into their home and went through enormous paperwork and red tape to adopt her daughter Rena from Serbia.  Rena has special needs and has thrived in Kim’s loving home, embracing her life with her wonderful siblings. 

A few years later, Kim and her family realized they wanted to complete their household by adopting one more. They were in the process of adopting Lyric, who also has special needs, when a social worker asked her a question she couldn’t refuse.  “I have a little girl who needs a home.  She may have some delays, but would you consider her, too?”

Kim said yes, and Lucy Love became the caboose.  The family was complete (that's eleven if you're counting).  The children were busy on the farm in Alba, and Kim home schooled her brood.  Her eldest left first, heading to his parents’ alma mater at Texas A&M where he also met his future bride.  Her first daughter, my flower girl, attended Texas A&M as well, studied in Brazil, and is now completing her degree in Dallas.  Her next-in-succession-sons are studying at Texas A&M and Texas Christian University, both with nearly two years’ credit under their belts before entering as freshmen and scholarships galore.  Her next three daughters, aptly named Faith, Hope, and Joy, are also homeschooling and doing dual credit, excelling in every arena.  The younger four all attend public school now, which as you read on will make logistical sense!

Sounds like a complete life, doesn’t it?  A beautiful life.  But Kim had and still has more story to tell.  Kim’s mother was stricken with Parkinson’s disease, which robbed her of many years with her children and grandchildren.  She had care nearby, as Kim’s parents had settled on a contiguous piece of farmland.  Three of Kim’s children have complex medical problems which require frequent trips to Dallas for specialized pediatric care.  Throughout this journey, Kim realized she should be a nurse.  She would go back to school.  So, amid home schooling and managing farm life, she tackled the pre-requisites and then was accepted to nursing school at the University of Texas at Tyler. Straight A’s, amazing clinical skills, and mom life. 

In November of 2016, results of a mammogram derailed the plan.  I remember that call.  “I have cancer”.  No. Not Kim.  Not SuperMom of the Universe who had breastfed eight babies?  How could this be?  In true Kim fashion, she announced, “I will take my finals and have surgery the next day.  I told them to hustle up because school starts back in January, and I need to be recovered”.  Ok, consider yourself on notice, Dr. Surgeon!

Kim had her surgery and was derailed a bit more when the doctor told her she needed a follow up procedure to hope for clear margins and then radiation.  Crap.  “How will I fit radiation in between clinicals?”  Well, she couldn’t.  Radiation took priority and school slowed down with some online work and no clinical rotations.  When she completed her radiation, the mostest stubbornest Kim said “I’m not ringing that bell.  I’ll let Lily Jane do it or not at all”.  Lily was glad to bang the gong to symbolize Mama was done with that cancer nonsense.  She had school to finish.

To complete the trifecta, she had one more surgery before she jumped back in to classes in August, all to ensure a good outcome for the next 40-50 years of her productive life.  Then back to school full steam ahead. 

She blew away her classes as per usual, but just as she regained her footing, she and her family suffered the loss of Kim’s mother.  I remember her mom Terry from the first day of college.  She was a respiratory therapist, and I know she would be immensely proud of Kim’s second career in nursing.

This winter she moved from the farm to “the city” of Quitman, Texas to be closer to schools and a future job in a hospital.  It was tough to give up the room for the animals, but there are more hurdles to leap in a single bound.

This week, I will have the honor, the privilege, and the tear-filled opportunity to place a nursing pin on my roomie and Lolly of 32 years as she graduates.  She will join me in the noblest and most fulfilling of professions, as I watch with so much admiration I could burst.  Kim will turn 50 this same month, and she will enter the second half of her life as a nurse, a grandmother to two perfect grandchildren, and a survivor.  I am humbled to be her friend and be part of her celebration.  She truly has a servant’s heart and determination like no other.  Just TRY to tell her she can’t do it.  Then hide and watch. 

I love you, Lolly.  #lollysforever

Spring Cleaning! (again...)

Happy Spring, Minimalists!  It doesn't really feel spring-y here in north Texas, because we're supposed to be in shorts for festivals and art shows.  Instead we're turning on the heater again and still wearing fleece.  

Alas, nothing says "clean out your crap!" like the calendar flipped to April! 

Why do we spring clean every year?  Do we accumulate THAT much stuff over the winter months that we need to do an overhaul AGAIN after the spring thaw?  It looks that way.  Perhaps we need to at least address this cycle.

Here are a few suggestions from your friends at Cowtown Minimalist, in no particular order:

1.  There is nothing wrong with buying something, whether it is a new sofa, a coffee mug, or a pair of earrings.  When you do, consider what already lives in your home, and decide if the new acquisition can take another's place.  Donate, Ebay, or give to friends what you are replacing.  

2.  Dying to "complete" a collection?  Ask yourself why.  Is it imperative you have each figurine in that Precious Moments collection (I always go back to those things because I just will never understand their appeal)?  Will you truly feel "complete" when you have found/purchased the last piece in the set?  Or will you be wandering off to find another thing to collect?

3. If it gets relegated to the the garage/attic/room no one enters, it's probably not that important, so consider eliminating its presence from your household.   We have such a hard time parting with things that were costly, were handled by someone who is now dead, or that held a dear memory.  Remember that physical objects only hold the value we have assigned them.  You can unassign that value, or take a photo and store that in the cloud. Permission granted.

4.  If you have children or a partner, consider them in your lifestyle choices.  If you died tomorrow, would they really care or want any of your stuff in boxes and crammed in closets?  I'm not saying to always live like you're dying, but once you're charged with sorting a loved one's life of belongings, you may be more prudent about what you leave after you're gone.  I have instructed my children what has some financial value, so they can sell that if they want after my demise.  Otherwise, hang on to my wedding rings and my Aggie ring. They don't take up much space and are tangible symbols of my life.  I am hopeful everything else is in your brain or in pictures. 

5.  If you have an object that you have assigned value, for heaven's sake USE it or display it.  A vase that your grandmother always had in her home?  Put flowers in it and look at it.   Your mother's wedding ring?  Wear it if you can.  Or put in on a necklace.  Stop hiding stuff in boxes. 

6.  Don't buy shit on vacation.  You don't need another t-shirt or sea shell to commemorate your trip to Destin.  You were there. Unless you've had a brain injury or dementia, you can remember your trip.  The talisman shell collection won't change that.  Just enjoy your adventure and skip the souvenir shops.  It will make your life more simple when it comes to next year's spring cleaning!


Remember, everyone's minimalist journey is different.  It's not about sparse walls or empty closets.  It's about mindfully appreciating what we bring into our lives, so we don't have to gnash our teeth over getting rid of it later. 

Enjoy your Sunday, Minimalist friends!